Over the last few days I've been struck by the idea of wanting a
good life. Not a perfect life - a good life.
I'm a
perfectionist, just ask my family. I have activity books I never touched
because I wanted them to be perfect. There was a sticker
"collection" because you can't move stickers once they are on paper
so I never had the guts to stick them somewhere. The countless activities I
never tried because I knew I wouldn’t get them “right”. The call to my mom
freshman year because I was getting a "B" and the list could go on.
I can’t say I've
completely moved past perfectionism (I still write a lot of things in pencil)
but I’ve gotten better.
This week it struck me why I’ve felt stuck for so long. I don’t start things because I want them to
be perfect before I even get started.
Take this blog. I’ve wanted to
have a blog for a while. In fact, I had
one a few years back but it never went anywhere because I felt my pictures
weren’t perfect, I didn’t have a logo, my brand wasn’t strong enough, you name
it: there was an excuse. But the few
posts I wrote, I really enjoyed sharing.
It brought me a little joy to know someone may have clicked on the link and
enjoyed something they saw. I thought I’d
take a step back and get it all together and have an amazing relaunch, but perfectionism
kept me from pursuing.
The revelation that hit me this week was: I don’t want a
perfect life. My version of a perfect life always came with
measuring what I’m doing to someone else. So many times I’ve made a list of the
things I need to do to make my life “better” and let
me just say, whenever I started trying to do all the things it was
overwhelming, tiring and made me feel worse in the end. It leads to me feeling like I’m not enough.
I want a good life. A life I am happy with regardless of whether it measures up to anyone else's standard. Because, to me, a good life can only be
measured by you. My good
life involves people I love, yarn and baking.
That’s not everything that makes up my good life, but it’s a piece of it
and just typing those words out makes me smile.
It’s been really freeing as well because to me, a good life involves
wiggle room, forgiveness and change whereas with perfection, I didn’t start
because I was fearful of never measuring up. I'm learning there’s freedom in goodness.
Now it’s your turn: What is part of your good
life?
